Having moved to the South

Let me update you on my culinary thoughts over the past year. I recently move to the South (Nashville), originally from New York and then New England. I am trying not to lose weight but the South is different---very different. Scary too

1. Chitterlings. What and why? It’s not food.

2. Rinds. In a bag no less. Never going to happen.

3. Meat and 3. Three what?????? What kind of meat????? Not food, not edible. No way.

4. Brisket. Send it back to Texas. They don’t know good food either. Brisket should be used for corned beef or pastrami. Period. And it has to be made by a Jewish guy from New York.

5. Speaking of New York why can’t I get a chicken liver and onion sandwich down here?

6. Got duped with friends in going to a “Southern Surf and Turf.” Initially I had visions of a something akin to a Carolina Oyster Roast and spit roasted pig. Turned out to be catfish and fried chicken. They are no longer “dining out” friends. What the hell is wrong with people. This was a very cruel joke.

7. Giovanni’s Ristoranti on 20th Ave. The best in Nashville. Not the best Italian restaurant, mind you---the best restaurant in Nashville. Period. I can identify everything on the menu (and on the plate) and nothing is fried in lard or pig fat to hide its real flavor. Not that I object to pig fat, as in my opinion, it is one of the major food groups and should be there right smack in the middle of that stupid pyramid. It just has its time and place.

8. Speaking of Italian food, it is pronounced "EYEtalian" down here. I guess they think we all come from "Eyetaly." What's the story with that?

9. Okra. Another “what's up with that stuff?” I think they fry it to hide its hideous taste. It should make good compost but I don’t want to contaminate the garbage I mix it with.

10. Pork Jowls. In Italian it is called “Guanciale” and it is a delicacy---or at least can be. In France it called a “Lardons.” Someone should tell these folk, IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN LIKE BACON!!! It is a an ingredient in other dishes that contain FOOD.

11. So close to NOLA, and their idea of Cajun in Nashville, is dredging fish—catfish no less--- through fireplace ash. How about Andouille sausage, She Crab Soup, Turtle Soup, or even a simple Etouffee? Throw in a little mire poix on occasion and don’t forget roux is not something you make with crayons. What are they thinking?

12. Fried pickles. The worst trend in dining since “foam” as food and some pretentious 20 year old serving me “disassembled food” at $80.00 a plate.

Just venting....